Stress

We Were and Are All Coping

What strange times we are living in! So much of this experience is unprecedented. So much is still unknown. And, especially in the beginning, information was changing daily.

And yet many of you are doing ok, managing and maybe even learning to take advantage of a unique experience in small, progressive ways.

While I needed time myself to absorb it all and see how I felt and what I needed - and then what I wanted to do with my energy - I was able to stay connected to the pulse of my clients and my colleagues in NJ, NY and FL. I learned about the range of emotions and the range of experiences that people were having.

I observed how quickly we shifted to shame. Whether we were self-shaming or shaming others. Those on the couch celebrating in the occasional showers were shaming the hyperactive achievers posting their workouts and healthy meals on social media. And visa versa.

When in reality, we were and are all coping.

I didn’t notice anyone changing. Instead I saw an acceleration and intensification of each person’s personality and attitudes. So if you were scared before, you were terrified now. If you were disengaged from your life, you were disassociating from your body and the occurrences in the world now. If you were self absorbed before, then you were selfish and opportunistic now. If you were kind before, you were giving all you had and maybe too much now.

What have you learned about life in these unusual times? What have you learned about yourself? Write it down so you don’t forget. Get one new habit and start practicing it now to move toward that newly clarified value.

Pace yourself and above all, be kind to yourself. “Forgive and reset” as we often discuss in sessions together. Forgive yourself for being human and reset - each moment you can - back on track with your higher values. Self compassion serves to get you to your higher level goals in the long run.

Are you noticing more and more our interconnection to every living thing? Notice the impact that authentic human caring has on the small notes that make up the big symphonies.

Give yourself patience, kindness and empowerment.

On The Other Side Of Stress

We can appear on the surface to ourselves and others that we are "healed" and "over it". Yet, the subconscious reminds us of the work we still need to do. Even after all the work to increase our self awareness and coping skills, those triggers are powerful! And it can feel like we are back to step 1.

It weighs heavy on us. It can send us into weeks of irritability, loss of patience, loss of motivation or much apathy about everything. Life just feels like it requires so much more energy than you remember it needing. 

But you push on.

Sometimes it's not until a particular moment has passed - such as a trauma anniversary or an emotionally challenging event - that we realize the heavy stress we were under. 

When the trigger has passed and the stress is lifted...and we can breath easy again. When we feel light again....when we have clarity again...when we are no longer walking through emotional quicksand. When we can smile that smile that comes from within.

Peace.

Peace is the gold that we treasure on a whole other level only after we get reminders of how we lost it in the past. Honor those reminders. Realize your personal growth (and growth within relationship to others) is still a journey and that you are still in motion. To be in motion is to be alive.

Savor that window of light...the light weight on your being...the light that shines on all you still want...the light that shines on the hope you somehow always hold on to. Savor those moments. Then contain that peace within your soul and carry it with you as you continue your journey.

You are here. You are not where you were. You can get triggered. You can feel like you are shot back in time to that unhealthy expression of you that you detest. But savor the realization that you are not back there. You are here. And you are in motion. Keep growing. Keep loving yourself for all the moments.

I am proud of you.