It’s a gift not to be facing issues that threaten our immediate safety - but well-being is more than the absence of crisis.
Many high-functioning professionals seek therapy not because of a crisis, but because they feel emotionally flat, disconnected, or chronically stressed in their body.
Many people I speak with delay:
truly tuning in to themselves
being honest about how it feels in their body to live the life they’re living
letting others see the full range of their emotions and experiences, beyond a single image
asking someone to hold space for the complexity of this moment
seeking support in areas that quietly feel overwhelming
We often tell ourselves we’re the lucky ones - and in many many ways, we are.
But that doesn’t mean we’re not human. Human with stress, worry, and self-doubt at times.
Anything we hold in eventually festers.
Over time, we become attached to the narrative - the story and image others see when they think of us. We hesitate to speak about the parts of our experience that don’t fit. Yet being human is inherently multifaceted.
When we acknowledge and identify with only one part of ourselves, something begins to happen - often slowly, over decades:
resentment starts to creep in
a quiet rage emerges, followed by guilt for feeling it
a heaviness settles in the body that we can’t seem to shake
enormous energy goes into maintaining the image - internally and externally - rather than into creativity or authentic growth
self-trust erodes, and sometimes, eventually, self-respect does too
So what else can we do?
We can begin by acknowledging a simple truth: we are human, like everyone else. And because of that, we have many different experiences, emotions, and reactions. We are more than a single image.
From here, we can start to explore: What is the image?
You can often tell when something outside that narrative arises - how activating it feels. Irritability, snapping at others, doubling down even harder on the identity we’ve chosen.
Once we identify the image - the hard worker, the smart one, the resilient one, the ambitious one, the caregiver, the fun one - we can get curious about how that identity has served us. When did we first learn that this part of us was the one that would bring belonging, respect, value, safety, or success?
Take a breath here. This doesn’t mean we’ve been living a lie.
It may simply mean that we - or others - chose one part of us and made it the whole story.
It’s easier to place things into a single category. It takes much more effort to view ourselves from multiple angles, to hold several vantage points at once, and to recognize both the benefits and the costs of each part of us.
With time and curiosity, those parts can begin to integrate again. When they are seen, acknowledged, and met with genuine gratitude - even the messy ones - we move toward becoming whole.
We are more than our image.
More than what we need to believe about ourselves.
More than what others need us to be.
We are allowed to show up as the whole version of ourselves - and we serve the world best when we do. Not when we remain tied to a curated presentation that keeps the boat steady, even though we never built the boat in the first place.
If this resonates, you’re welcome to reach out for a consultation call to explore it further.