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There is a particular kind of discomfort that comes with being in the middle of a change. You may have outgrown a role, a relationship, a way of thinking, or a version of yourself that once made sense. You recognize that something needs to shift, but the next step isn’t clear. What used to work no longer feels right, and what comes next hasn’t quite taken shape.
Welcome to the messy middle.
Sometimes we know something isn't working, but we keep going anyway. We tell ourselves, “It's not that bad,” “I'll deal with it later,” or “Things will get better.”
This can be normalcy bias - our tendency to assume things will return to normal even when something has changed. Or it may be a freeze response, when feeling overwhelmed makes it difficult to take action even when we know what we want to do. Sometimes the two work together.
Before asking, “What should I do?” it may be more helpful to ask, “Am I grounded enough to see what's actually happening and consider my options?” Clarity often comes after regulation - not before it.
Because some decision need to be made quickly. But many of the biggest decisions in our lives deserve to be made from a place where we can access safety, connection, and curiosity - not just urgency.
You don't have to be completely calm to make a good decision.
But learning how to become grounded enough to stay safe, social, and curious may help you make decisions that are more aligned with the life you actually want to build.
Mental health, as defined by the World Health Organization, is a state of wellbeing in which a person can realize their own abilities, cope with the normal stresses of life, work productively, and contribute to their community. Notice what's not in that definition: the absence of struggle. Mental health isn't the condition of never feeling anxious, depleted, overwhelmed, or lost. It's the capacity to navigate those states without losing yourself in them.
That distinction matters more than it might seem.
