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In the darkest moments - when we are frightened, overwhelmed, disappointed, or feel as though everything is falling apart - we can catch a glimpse of something much deeper beneath our usual ways of functioning.
Our deepest protective narratives.
Heartbreak is one of life's great equalizers.
It doesn't matter whether it comes through divorce, betrayal, death, infertility, estrangement, an unexpected diagnosis, or the loss of a dream you spent years building. Heartbreak has a way of reaching beneath the parts of ourselves that usually feel steady and secure.
If you're reading this while your heart feels heavy, I want you to know something:
The initial shock following a life-changing tragedy is one of the brain's most remarkable protective mechanisms.
Your nervous system may temporarily alter how emotions are experienced, allowing you to focus on immediate demands and survival. Rather than flooding you with every feeling immediately, it allows you to function just enough to survive the first hours, days, or even weeks.
This isn't denial in the ordinary sense.
It's protection.
Mental health, as defined by the World Health Organization, is a state of wellbeing in which a person can realize their own abilities, cope with the normal stresses of life, work productively, and contribute to their community. Notice what's not in that definition: the absence of struggle. Mental health isn't the condition of never feeling anxious, depleted, overwhelmed, or lost. It's the capacity to navigate those states without losing yourself in them.
That distinction matters more than it might seem.
