Learning: Try To Make New Mistakes!

In this stage of my life and career I feel like I'm learning MOST of the time.  Whether it's reading between client sessions about a new app that can help regulate emotions or learning how to use social media to promote my practice or studying books on therapy, philosophy, business, marketing, parenting (nothing better for learning how to guide people through their inner-child work)....it's a non-stop attempt to get a handle on an ever-changing world.

Don't stay still.  I always love to ask "WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?"  You could be learning something new everyday.  It keeps you ALIVE...while you're alive.

When I worked with foster care children I used many mantras with them. One of my favorites was "Make new mistakes!"  Sounds strange at first, right?  

Making mistakes in inevitable.  And wonderful.  A mentor once told me that messing up is a percentage.  The more you do with your life, the more it will appear you are messing up. So keep doing new things, learning new things, and messing up.

Just make new mistakes.  Learn.

Meditation Is Not Easy For Me

I love meditation.  If only I could do it easily.

I advocate for anyone who will listen to do it.  Try it.  Learn how and use it on a regular basis or when you can, create a random moment.

I like it from the concept to the practice.  Meditation in essence is focus, being in the here-and-now, non-judgmental, forgiving, gentle, and above the minutia of routine life.  To have discipline and a sense of priorities all while finding peace and centeredness sounds amazing, right?

I know many people who do this and my clients who have tried are making leaps and bounds in their treatment with me.  I have the hardest time meditating.  So in conclusion, I'm going to keep trying! 10 minutes a day has been my motto.  

I stop what I'm doing and breath for 10 minutes. Counting my breaths 1 to 10 and then I start again.  I set a time for the 10 minutes.  I haven't been able to stay focused for more than a few seconds but I keep going back to the focus.  10 minutes every day.  Now you try.

Response to Out-of-State Question on Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is a way to PROTECT yourself. Figure out what you are protecting yourself from FIRST (https://twitter.com/AnatSamid)

 

After I posted that yesterday, I got the question from North Carolina about an interest in finding a therapist and learning about self from negative thoughts.  I responded...

You can always find someone local. A lot of therapists like me do videoconferencing and phone sessions too. A therapist is great to guide you but you can also take time to look at what was the first thing that came to your mind when you read the comment and also pay attention to what comes up in your body, thoughts and emotions when a negative thought surfaces.

"If I think this negative thought (i.e, nothing ever works for me) then I am protecting myself from experiencing......" (vulnerability, hurt, fear, etc). And then you try to think of the original hurt/emotional trauma. By noticing it you bring it from the unconscious to the conscious. And then you can start challenging it.

It's powerful stuff!