Self Care

What You Learn Applies To Real Life

I just came back into my office after helping a driver who got into a car accident to slow his breathing. Focused on helping him feel connected and secure. Back in my office, I sit here amazed at how so much of what I practice really works in the day to day. 

Ever wonder if you were going to use that algebra you learned in real life? Well you'll never wonder that about the mental health techniques you learn.

Those techniques will come in handy in your life at the most random and unexpected of times. It might be years past your therapeutic experience where you learned some tricks of self awareness, self soothing and self care but in a time of need you find yourself pulling those tools from the tool box. Dusting them off and feeling "Hey, wow. I can still do this."

You might have a loved one or a friend of a friend who is going through something. You'll remember what pain, confusion, overwhelm feel like. You'll harness the empathy, non-judgement, active listening skills that you learned to give yourself - now giving it to others.

There will be a car accident in front of your office and you will find yourself gently guiding a person in crisis into slow deep breathes.

It might be purposeful "Let me try this" or automatic "Hey, look at me. I think this is working."

Learning "tricks" for mental health and practicing them often enough so that they become part of your automatic response is a worthwhile investment in your future self and in your loved ones and in random strangers. It will not go to waste. It will only grow. And the ripple effects will show others that they can try too.

You can do more than wish things away or wish them better but actually take concrete steps toward making things better. It's worth it. We're worth it. Invest in you so we can all benefit.

On The Other Side Of Stress

We can appear on the surface to ourselves and others that we are "healed" and "over it". Yet, the subconscious reminds us of the work we still need to do. Even after all the work to increase our self awareness and coping skills, those triggers are powerful! And it can feel like we are back to step 1.

It weighs heavy on us. It can send us into weeks of irritability, loss of patience, loss of motivation or much apathy about everything. Life just feels like it requires so much more energy than you remember it needing. 

But you push on.

Sometimes it's not until a particular moment has passed - such as a trauma anniversary or an emotionally challenging event - that we realize the heavy stress we were under. 

When the trigger has passed and the stress is lifted...and we can breath easy again. When we feel light again....when we have clarity again...when we are no longer walking through emotional quicksand. When we can smile that smile that comes from within.


Peace is the gold that we treasure on a whole other level only after we get reminders of how we lost it in the past. Honor those reminders. Realize your personal growth (and growth within relationship to others) is still a journey and that you are still in motion. To be in motion is to be alive.

Savor that window of light...the light weight on your being...the light that shines on all you still want...the light that shines on the hope you somehow always hold on to. Savor those moments. Then contain that peace within your soul and carry it with you as you continue your journey.

You are here. You are not where you were. You can get triggered. You can feel like you are shot back in time to that unhealthy expression of you that you detest. But savor the realization that you are not back there. You are here. And you are in motion. Keep growing. Keep loving yourself for all the moments.

I am proud of you.