We all get overwhelmed sometimes. Our emotional states can give us essential information. Learning how to interpret how we feel and what we are thinking and then intentionally deciding what to do about it - if anything at all - is a skill.
Since all skills can be learned and practiced, let’s talk about how to use our fears to move toward positive action.
My clients have sometimes heard me say that while some symptoms/emotional reactions would cause me to raise an eyebrow out of concern for them back in the day, these days feeling levels of sadness, stress, anxiety, anger, and fear can be an appropriate match for the accelerated changes in our world today.
I talk to many people with very different perspectives, goals and viewpoints. But across the board there can be a level of fear that is - to say the least - uncomfortable. And at its worst, debilitating to us and harmful to others. We can start excusing really bad behavior in our sense of urgency.
Fear is a basic human emotion triggered by a perceived threat or danger, designed to activate the body's survival mechanisms, such as the "fight-or-flight" response, preparing a person to either confront or escape the risk. This reaction involves both physiological changes—like increased heart rate, adrenaline release, and heightened alertness—and psychological responses, including anxiety and worry. (source: SimplePsychology)
In fear we go to clarity - we put everything in binary “right vs. wrong” or “oppressor vs. oppressed” or “good vs. bad” or "us vs them”. While that is not a dysfunction of our nervous system, it is not how we are meant to live long term. Long term, that rigidity leads to mental illness.
Used in its best form, fear keeps us safe and motivates us to take action. We can choose to take action toward building, healing and growing.
Understandably, when we get scared we want to escape (which might look like directly leaving or even fantasizing about quitting). If we can’t escape, we have an instinct to fight (send that nasty email, for example). And if we can’t get out or do something about what is overwhelming us, we will shut down. We numb out. Long enough and it can lead to depression.
So with that information, what do we do about it?
Fear can be transformed into positive action by channeling its energy and motivational power into productive goals and growth-oriented behaviors. This process involves recognizing fear as a natural response and using its signals to inform wise decisions, fuel creativity, and drive personal development. (Source: adventurecollection)
Notice your body sensations so that you can tell when you are feeling fear quicker.
Radically accept that your reaction, based on your experience with the world so far, is normal and trying to keep you safe aka alive.
Go to the list of grounding techniques that you already know will call your body out of a reaction stage (get a list from me if helpful).
Decide what positive action step to take next.
For example:
Work on making your life better so you can then reach out and help others on a larger scale.
Find organizations that are focused on supporting self improvement not vilifying the “other”.
Connect with friends or support groups to nurture community.
Our emotions are fleeting. If we get stuck in any emotion, it’s time to pay attention and find balance again. Once we find that balance, we can more effectively take action toward loving, supportive, effective goals.
Remember, most of the things that scare us are an opportunity to learn what is most meaningful to us. We are scared we will lose that thing. Instead of focusing on the possibility of loss, we can channel our energy toward gratitude for what we have and what we value and put all our energy and effort toward effectively protecting it.
Let’s emotionally evolve past moments of fear to a lifetime of caring for ourselves and others.