mindfulness

When “This Isn’t That Bad” Keeps Us Stuck: Normalcy Bias vs. the Freeze Response

When “This Isn’t That Bad” Keeps Us Stuck: Normalcy Bias vs. the Freeze Response

Sometimes we know something isn't working, but we keep going anyway. We tell ourselves, “It's not that bad,” “I'll deal with it later,” or “Things will get better.”

This can be normalcy bias - our tendency to assume things will return to normal even when something has changed. Or it may be a freeze response, when feeling overwhelmed makes it difficult to take action even when we know what we want to do. Sometimes the two work together.

Before asking, “What should I do?” it may be more helpful to ask, “Am I grounded enough to see what's actually happening and consider my options?” Clarity often comes after regulation - not before it.

Safe, Social and Curious...Let's Go!

Safe, Social and Curious...Let's Go!

Because some decision need to be made quickly. But many of the biggest decisions in our lives deserve to be made from a place where we can access safety, connection, and curiosity - not just urgency.

You don't have to be completely calm to make a good decision.

But learning how to become grounded enough to stay safe, social, and curious may help you make decisions that are more aligned with the life you actually want to build.

When Things Are at Their Worst, Notice What Comes to the Surface

When Things Are at Their Worst, Notice What Comes to the Surface

In the darkest moments - when we are frightened, overwhelmed, disappointed, or feel as though everything is falling apart - we can catch a glimpse of something much deeper beneath our usual ways of functioning.

Our deepest protective narratives.

Bring Me Your Heartbreak

Bring Me Your Heartbreak

Heartbreak is one of life's great equalizers.

It doesn't matter whether it comes through divorce, betrayal, death, infertility, estrangement, an unexpected diagnosis, or the loss of a dream you spent years building. Heartbreak has a way of reaching beneath the parts of ourselves that usually feel steady and secure.

If you're reading this while your heart feels heavy, I want you to know something: