nervous system

When “This Isn’t That Bad” Keeps Us Stuck: Normalcy Bias vs. the Freeze Response

When “This Isn’t That Bad” Keeps Us Stuck: Normalcy Bias vs. the Freeze Response

Sometimes we know something isn't working, but we keep going anyway. We tell ourselves, “It's not that bad,” “I'll deal with it later,” or “Things will get better.”

This can be normalcy bias - our tendency to assume things will return to normal even when something has changed. Or it may be a freeze response, when feeling overwhelmed makes it difficult to take action even when we know what we want to do. Sometimes the two work together.

Before asking, “What should I do?” it may be more helpful to ask, “Am I grounded enough to see what's actually happening and consider my options?” Clarity often comes after regulation - not before it.

When Things Are at Their Worst, Notice What Comes to the Surface

When Things Are at Their Worst, Notice What Comes to the Surface

In the darkest moments - when we are frightened, overwhelmed, disappointed, or feel as though everything is falling apart - we can catch a glimpse of something much deeper beneath our usual ways of functioning.

Our deepest protective narratives.

Shock After It All Falls Apart

Shock After It All Falls Apart

The initial shock following a life-changing tragedy is one of the brain's most remarkable protective mechanisms.

Your nervous system may temporarily alter how emotions are experienced, allowing you to focus on immediate demands and survival. Rather than flooding you with every feeling immediately, it allows you to function just enough to survive the first hours, days, or even weeks.

This isn't denial in the ordinary sense.

It's protection.