Therapy Today Isn't Your Parent's Therapy

Trauma treatment has changed over the years. Psychoanalysis was everything - talk therapy was everything. Since the 90's we are incorporating neuroscience and mind/body work to calm the nervous system.

Trauma can be anything that shakes up your world and unsettles your nervous system - and there are different degrees of it. Your nervous system sends information to the brain and back to the rest of the body. It can impact your digestion, muscle tension, memory, etc.

All of our reactions are normal and wonderfully wired to keep us alive. It’s only when we get stuck in those states of survival - for example hyper alertness or numbness - that we need help.

Working with a therapist, you will explore your stories and experiences. And you will also practice tuning into the body. How does your body feel right now? What emotion(s) are you feeling? You can use the emotion wheel (below) as a resource to find a close enough word. Where in your body are you feeling it?

Connecting to your body, noticing and naming your experience can help to calm your nervous system after it has a reaction to something that happened - good or bad.

Practicing 1-3 techniques that calm the body a bit can then help to take you from a reactionary freaked out state (“what is going on?!!!”) to a mindful state (“I’m noticing” “I am in this moment”). That mindful (being present in this moment as it is) state can then provide information on how to proceed.

There are hundreds of techniques to help calm the body. You practice the ones that work for you. Your therapist is there to help with all of that.

When you increase your window of tolerance - you can tolerate a range of emotions - you are more in control.

With (1) awareness, (2) non-judgment over your experience and (3) somatic practical techniques to center again - now you can get (4) strategic. What’s the next best move that is in line with your current values?

Your nervous system might still be trying to keep you safe and alive so don’t get mad at the process. When we don’t heal our traumas, the activated or numb state can even last years. Taking time to calm the nervous system allows healing to happen.

We move from trying to survive and coping in the short term to investing in long term tools that help heal throughout all of life’s pain and suffering.

Psychedelic treatments are now coming back into research and we are seeing some interesting developments in the trauma world. Stay tuned….

Emotion Wheel

We Were and Are All Coping

What strange times we are living in! So much of this experience is unprecedented. So much is still unknown. And, especially in the beginning, information was changing daily.

And yet many of you are doing ok, managing and maybe even learning to take advantage of a unique experience in small, progressive ways.

While I needed time myself to absorb it all and see how I felt and what I needed - and then what I wanted to do with my energy - I was able to stay connected to the pulse of my clients and my colleagues in NJ, NY and FL. I learned about the range of emotions and the range of experiences that people were having.

I observed how quickly we shifted to shame. Whether we were self-shaming or shaming others. Those on the couch celebrating in the occasional showers were shaming the hyperactive achievers posting their workouts and healthy meals on social media. And visa versa.

When in reality, we were and are all coping.

I didn’t notice anyone changing. Instead I saw an acceleration and intensification of each person’s personality and attitudes. So if you were scared before, you were terrified now. If you were disengaged from your life, you were disassociating from your body and the occurrences in the world now. If you were self absorbed before, then you were selfish and opportunistic now. If you were kind before, you were giving all you had and maybe too much now.

What have you learned about life in these unusual times? What have you learned about yourself? Write it down so you don’t forget. Get one new habit and start practicing it now to move toward that newly clarified value.

Pace yourself and above all, be kind to yourself. “Forgive and reset” as we often discuss in sessions together. Forgive yourself for being human and reset - each moment you can - back on track with your higher values. Self compassion serves to get you to your higher level goals in the long run.

Are you noticing more and more our interconnection to every living thing? Notice the impact that authentic human caring has on the small notes that make up the big symphonies.

Give yourself patience, kindness and empowerment.